To get Neville laid
by rareslasher
Summary: Viktor Krum and Neville Longbottom were very different... yet they shagged. A mindless story.


Viktor Krum was famous all over the world for his skills as a seeker. Neville Longbottom was perfectly fine with the handful of friends

he had…and his plants. Viktor greeted millions daily with an arrogant smirk. Neville was oh so nervous on the occasion he'd have to go

out of his humble house. The contradictions between the two are numerous I assure you… yet they ended up shaging.

HOLD UP! Now, I know you're asking yourself how the hell did we get from minor differences to sex… well quite easy actually. I have

a very one sided mind. But fine, now that I have stated, quite pleasantly I may add, that the boys shall indeed shag, which is rather

lovely, I think you might want to know how this particular event came to happen…

"Harry I am not wearing that…it's …it's…indecent!" the long haired brunette stuttered staring in horror at the garment. It was a DRESS

robe, which was way too much dress and way too little robe… speaking of little, it couldn't be more then an inch from showing off his

umm 'little soldier'.

Harry smirked at his friend, it had been five years since the Dark Lords defeat and there was to be a ball in his name. He usually hated

these events, but this time he had a goal, to get Neville laid. It was, in his own esteemed opinion, a very noble goal. His friend had gone

into a sort of seclusion since the war. At first he hadn't blamed him, the war was hard on everyone and Neville had lost his grand mum.

But enough was enough. It couldn't be healthy to spend that much time with plants. Just a week ago Luna had made a comment about

Neville being similar to Snape in their passionate work habbits. That alone had been reason enough to kidnap the boy and give him a

make over. He now looked absolutely NOTHING like Snape. His hair, which had grown long, was a natural deep chocolate brown

that Harry had added some red streaks to and now sported layers. He looked fabulous in Harry's opinion. And Harry had the perfect

way to get him out his self imposed seclusion, sex. Now to get him a guy, "Come on Neville," Harry used his best whining voice, when

to his horror the boy managed to resist it he pulled out his secret weapon, the puppy dog eyes, "Please, for me?"

Shit, Neville cursed and tried to resist… but… damn it, he growled and nabbed the cloth. With a pout he stormed into the other room

and changed. Harry cackled gleefully. The outfits Neville usually wore were long, loose and dull, leaving way too much to the

imagination in Harry's opinion. . Now, this was going to add the final touch to his piece of art. Then he'd happily use his fame and

influence to find a fantastic bloke and hook his best mate up. Gently he wiped away a tear that had formed in his eye, his idea was pure

genius.

Oh god, Neville pulled at the piece of silk again, hoping it would somehow cover a bit more skin… at last it was useless. He had no idea

what charm the other boy had put on it, but it was damn persistent to stay at it's provocative space. And no matter how hard he tried he

couldn't get the damned thing off, his own clothes had disappeared as soon as they hit the grown. Fucking savior, he was going to

castrate Harry. With a sigh he unwillingly stepped out, oh he was going to give the boy who lived a piece of his mind, that's for damn

sure.

Harry giggled as a bewildered Neville stepped in front of him… in the middle of the crowded ball room. Oh, having the dark lord's

powers most defiantly had it's advantages. Then he actually SAW Neville, his mouth fell open. If he wasn't happily married to Draco,

whom would KILL him if he so much groped some one else, he'd be all over his friend. He wiped some drool from the corner of his

mouth and silently congratulated himself on a job very well done.

Neville saw red, that bastard, that no good rotten bastard! He hissed and launched towards the boy… at the same time a poor certain

seeker thought to pay greetings to his old acquaintance. Neville found strong arms quickly wrapped around him. Damn seeker skills! He

kicked and bit, but Harry wouldn't let go, damn the bastard he was making a fool of himself now, and of course his dress robe thought

NOW would be a good time to come off. His cheeks flamed red and he bit into the red clothed arm… wait wasn't Harry wearing a

green robe? Teeth still digging into flesh he wearily looked up. Harry looked back at him from a couple feet away, a wide grin

consuming his face. Oh god, he removed his teeth from the arm and turned around in the mans arms. Oh, great, Victor Krum, the boy

Neville had had a crush on all of fourth year. Neville closed his eyes, now would be a good time to die.

Viktor was rather amused, as he held onto the boy. He'd caught onto the fact that he wasn't the target when Harry dodged out of the

way and burst into silent giggles. But that didn't explain why this pretty girl… wait the dress went up a little higher.. boy was attacking.

Suddenly the pain in his arm went away and he met eye to eye with the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. Brown and red

disheveled hair framed a flushed face… the image very much reminded him of making love. He frowned. That was not an appropriate

thought, he didn't even know the boy's name. As if reading his thoughts Harry took a step closer, but still out of Neville's reach, "Viktor

it is so great to see you again. Have you met Neville? He is single…" Neville gave and indignant screech and sputtered, Harry smiled,

"You guys should shag." And they did, which is what I was saying in the beginning of the story… but no you guys wanted plot. Tch. Silly

people.

A/N Oh my, I am actually writing again? NO! A woman hath fainted in France, and a blind man on the streets of London begins to shout of the Armageddon… ok enough dramatics. Basically I got caught up in nanowrimo… it consumed me. TWITCHES INSANILY. Actually I had written this last night as a sex scene for a friend and I thought to myself, 'hey if I remove the actual naughty, naughty then I can use it and not feel guilty anymore... so I did. In the original... it was a lot less humorus and a LOT more sex-oriented...hehe. shocker no?


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